A special thanks to Tim for the game reference and info. There are so many wonderful people here at pens. It feels like home. Anyway enjoy!
Chapter 12 What happens if I do this?
The two women spent most of the day on the living room couch. Willow was sleeping off her morning sickness and Tara spent some of her time reading. Willow rolled over slowly and lifted the bottom of Tara’s shirt. She reached to feel her lover’s tummy and moved in to kiss it gently. Tara shifted the papers from her hands onto the floor and reached for the redhead.
“Did you have a nice rest sweetie?” Tara asked. “I was beginning to wonder how I could possibly get down there to kiss you and here you are coming up to get me.”
“Oh no…I’m kissing our daughter right now. Your lips will have to be patient.”
“Our daughter,” Tara gave a half smile. “I believe our daughter is inside of me and that would be my skin that you…are…devouring,” she gasped loudly as Willow snagged a small bit of flesh between her teeth. “Willow… now I know that is not for the benefit of our daughter.”
“Right that was for the benefit of her mother,” She smiled wickedly.
“Which mother?”
“Oh… hmm,” she thought for a moment. “Which answer moves this party into the bedroom?”
“Either.”
“Well then that’s my answer.” Willow nibbled her way to Tara’s lips gently taking in the soft flesh of her lover. Tara wrapped herself around her wife and the moment was crushed.
Beep… Beep… Beep… Beep… Beep… Beep… Beep… Beep… Beep… Beep… Beep… Beep… Beep… Beep… Beep… Beep… Beep… Beep… Beep… Beep… Beep…
Tara’s body stiffened at the sound of not one but two PDA’s beeping in her house. She squeezed her lover tightly and reached her hands slowly around Willows neck.
“You know if I didn’t love you so damn much, I would strangle you right now. Willow what is the beeping for and why is it in stereo?”
“Um,” she hesitated, “I just wanted to make sure we had time to get ready for everyone so I set them to go off at three o’clock. Damn is it three already?”
“Yes it is,” Tara smiled. “We slept most of the day away.”
“Great way to spend the day, gets my vote every time. So let’s go get things ready.” They slowly moved from the couch and walked into the kitchen. Tara opened the fridge and poured a glass of milk. Willow grabbed some OJ and started to pour.
“Honey?” Tara asked, “you may want to stop drinking that for a while. When it comes back up it can be a bit harsh.”
“Didn’t think about that,” she sighed with frustration. “Still worried about what’s coming out of my mouth? I suppose I should thank you this time.”
“I’m sure it will only be for a little while,” Tara tried to offer comfort. “And if not, six months isn’t that long. And yes I am a bit protective of your mouth and all the other parts of your anatomy.”
Willow was about to give a pout when they were interrupted by a knock at the door. Tara moved to answer it as Willow put the containers back in the fridge.
“It’s Buffy and Dawn,” Tara announced. “Did you ask them to come early?
“Absolutely not.” Willow answered, “I don’t want to share you with anyone but our daughter.” Willow hollered the words just as Tara opened the door. The eyes of the slayer and her sister popped open when they heard the word daughter. Tara stepped back to let them in and began to blush. Willow entered realizing they’d heard her last few words.
“Oh…so I guess you heard that.” Willow asked.
“Slayer hearing,” Buffy answered.
“Sister of slayer hearing,” Dawn answered.
“Well we were going to tell you all today anyway so,” Tara began to explain. “Yes we are pregnant.”
“Which one of you?” Buffy asked. “I’m guessing you Tara because just the word pregnant terrifies the hell out of Willow.”
“Yes me.” Tara began to explain as they walked into the living room. Willow was moving the papers and the afghan from the couch making room for their friends. “I’m three months today.”
“Three.” Dawn pointed out as she raced to squeeze Tara tightly. “Didn’t waste any time did ya?”
Willow looked at her wife, reached for her hands and led her to the couch. “We aren’t wasting a minute, not a single one.”
“I’m so excited for you both,” Buffy said. “So, how are you doing?”
“Actually pretty good. Especially now that Willow is handling the morning sickness for me.”
“The what now?” Buffy asked curiously.
“Anyone thirsty?” Willow asked trying to avoid the conversation as she went to the kitchen.
“Only for information.” Buffy answered staring at Tara. “Explain the morning sickness to me please.”
“I’ll have a coke.” Dawn said as she walked into the kitchen.
Uh…Buffy.” Willow smirked. “Morning sickness is a lot of throwing up, but not necessarily in the morning.”
“And Willow has it, but you are the one that’s pregnant?” Buffy was confused which didn’t surprise anyone.
“Well, now that I think about it is kind of funny.” Tara began to explain.
“Funny!” Willow yelled from the kitchen. “Absolutely NOT funny.”
“Okay maybe not funny,” She corrected herself. “Interesting…how’s that word sweetie?”
“Okay interesting is fine.” She answered back. “Continue.”
“So it appears that one of the elements that we used for the conception spell packed more of a punch than we anticipated.” Tara explained. “Fortunately not strong enough to make us both pregnant but it appears to have caused Willow to share my symptoms.”
“Wow that’s gonna be painful,” Buffy said. “I mean is she going to have labor pains for you and feel all the birth stuff and everything?”
Willow heard Buffy and turned sheet white, which for the redhead was quite an accomplishment.
“Tara?” Willow stopped abruptly holding their drinks. “Am I going to feel all of that stuff because I’m not sure I can do that and I can’t be feeling your pain and then helping you and then being supportive and needing to be supported and I don’t think I can handle the pain and oh Tara I think I need to sit down now cause I can’t be feeling all that stuff.” She was very near hyperventilation as her wife grabbed the drinks and helped her to the couch.
“Okay Will.” Buffy said with a grin. “God… panic much?”
“Buffy, you know how I feel about being pregnant.” Willow said. “It scares me to death. Just the fact that Tara is pregnant is frightening enough. Knowing that she will go through all those changes and be ill and have to squeeze that thing out and then all the pain and all the bleeding and stuff that comes out and eww it’s gross. You remember the films from health class. Well the midwife gave us a video and I can’t believe all of the gooeyness of it.”
Tara reached for her wife holding her tightly. “Breathe Willow. Stop talking and breathe. I’ll be okay and you’ll be okay and just relax. I think the reality is finally hitting her.” She looked over at the sisters. “Mr. Giles was here earlier and I think Willow realized she was going to be more physically involved in this pregnancy. She hasn’t had enough conscious time to let it all sink in.”
“Oh Tara.” She held her wife closely. “I called her a thing. I didn’t mean to do that she isn’t a thing. She’s beautiful and precious and she is growing inside of you and I can’t believe I just called her a thing. Please forgive me.”
“Will… honey,” Tara spoke softly taking the redheads face into her hands. “I’m Okay. And you will be okay and every day will work out. Stop panicking we’ll all be fine, all three of us. And she is not a thing she is us. So she could only be beautiful.”
The conversation broke as they all heard a knock at the door. Dawn stood up to answer it, “Let me get it, you have your hands full.” The girl chuckled as she opened the door. “It’s Xander and Anya.”
“You know I said four,” Willow whispered under her breath. “I said four hoping everyone would come at four thirty or five. But here you all are at three fifteen. Why did I get you all those damn PDAs anyway?” Her frustration grew as she realized her hard work went mostly unappreciated.
“Hey all,” Xander said as he entered the living room. “What’s going on? Will you look like a train just hit you.”?
“Yes Willow,” Anya chimed in. “You look just terrible.”
“Well thanks Anya,” Willow said coarsely. “Nice to see you too.”
“Nothing is going on. Willow was just panicking.” Buffy explained.
“Panicking,” Anya tilted her head searching for information. “Why would Willow panic?”
“Tara’s pregnant,” Dawn smirked as she sat back into her chair.
“Oh,” Anya spat. “Trying to figure out who the father is? Three months… see marriage never lasts.”
“HEY! Be quiet,” Willow yelled. The last thing she needed at this moment was Anya and her ex-ex-ex demon mentality. “I’m the father. Well not the father father but the other mother and we made her together. The baby is ours. She is ours together.”
“Take it easy sweetie,” Tara tried to calm her wife and explain at the same time. “We did a spell on our wedding night.”
“Not wasting any time.” Anya spoke from the corner of her mouth to Xander.
“We’ve been through that conversation already.” Buffy laughed.
“Well not with me you haven’t.” Anya perked up and sat next to Buffy waiting for all the juicy details. “Oh and by the way,” Anya whispered to Buffy, “I think that was a pants for my side.”
“I guess it was,” Buffy smiled. “I’d almost give you two for that one.” Buffy and Anya moved off to the dining room and pulled out their PDAs. Flipping them open they pulled up the running tally they had kept since the wedding.
“Damn!” Anya spat. “That puts them back to dead even. Could they be any more evenly matched? I almost want to gag sometimes. This isn’t as fun as I thought it would be.”
What,” Buffy looked confused. “You thought Willow was dragging Tara around like a Gay ol’ cavegirl? I told you they weren’t like that.”
“We’ll see!” Anya replied without any humor in her voice. “The pregnancy will bring all sorts of pain and agony. Just wait I’ll be into the triple digits in no time.” Anya gave a wicked laugh as they closed up the devices and walked back into the room.
“So you did a spell?” Xander asked.
“Yes we did.” Willow began to explain. “We decided…” She was abruptly cut off.
“Parthenogenesis.” Xander spit out the word. “It’s a conception spell.” Everyone in the room turned to look at him. They were intrigued by what he said.
“Actually …no,” Willow answered. “But I’m curious to know what the heck you’re thinking.”
“Me to,” came from the rest of the crowd.
“It’s a spell,” Xander began to explain. “It’s from a book. ‘Kult: Death is only the beginning’ it’s a game. You know, like Dungeons and Dragons. It explains how you do the spell. And then all the ways to do it all evil and ways to make…” Xander suddenly realized that the crowd in the room was displeased with his exposition.
“HELLO! Reality here Xander,” Willow barked at him. “Come on do you think a game book is going to explain a real spell for creating life?”
“I don’t know.” Xander answered. “I just remembered the book and the game and I had to do it once to replace my favorite inspector after an attack wiped out half my guys.”
“Sweetie,” Anya patted his arm repeatedly. “No one cares about your pathetic childhood games. Come back to this dimension and join our conversation.”
Everyone laughed but they were unsure if it was because of Anya or Xander. The two seemed to be quite the pair. Willow and Tara explained the rest of the details and all about the shared symptoms. Anya tortured Willow with gruesome tales of demon, animal and human births as Willow tried to avoid her endless chatter. The pregnancy seemed to be the main topic of conversation for the rest of the evening. As the evening ended Dawn stayed behind to help Tara as Willow cleaned up the back yard with Buffy.
“So how are you feeling?” Dawn asked. “Now that everyone is gone, I’d like to know how you are. Without all of the childish bantering and games.”
“Well Dawn,” Tara began to explain. “Every day our life gets better and better. You know,” Tara paused briefly, “I never thought I ever deserved to feel the love that I feel with Willow. And now that a part of her is growing inside of me I’m more alive than I have ever been. It makes us larger than just our love.” Tara stared out the window enjoying the view of Willow in the moonlight. “We made a life. That’s so amazing to me when I stop to think about it, and I think about it a lot.” She hesitated, getting very serious. “You were there when my family came and you know how small they made me feel.” She turned to face the girl. “I look back and I hate the person I was then. I hate that I let them control me with fear. I have so much here with Willow it overwhelms me. All of it is just so much bigger than my insecurities. And okay I’ll bet that this is a lot more information then you were looking for.”
“Wow!” Dawn replied in awe of her confession. “You are the one person that has NEVER treated me like a kid. I have always been a person to you. I love who you are and I love who you were. But you and Willow together… that’s amazing. I can’t even explain how happy I am when you two are together.” She reached in to hug Tara tightly. After a long silent pause Dawn confessed. “You know…when mom died? You really saved me.”
Tara was shocked by the statement and a bit uncomfortable with the confession.
“What sweetie?” Tara was stunned.
“Sorry.” Dawn said. “I guess I said that kinda weird.” She paused to collect her thoughts. “I just meant to say that you filled the space that mom left when she died. I felt so alone with Buffy. And I needed someone that understood what I was feeling.” Tears were flowing down her cheeks as Tara squeezed to comfort her. “You became a mom to me that night in Willow’s dorm room. I have always felt safe with you here. I know that your daughter will feel that too. We all feel it. Who you were, that doesn’t matter anymore.”
“WOW!” Tara said with amazement. “You really are quite the young woman aren’t you? I am so proud of who you are. I know going through all of that was terribly painful. I remember feeling alone; I remember having no one to comfort me. I would do anything to keep those feelings from anyone that I love.”
“I know,” Dawn said squeezing her tightly. “Every time I step into this house, I know.”
Tara and Dawn continued cleaning up as Buffy and Willow did the same. After a short time all four women collapsed in the living room. It was getting late and Buffy decided they should head out and patrol.
“So do you want to stay here with us tonight Dawnie?” Willow asked.
“Actually she’s patrolling with me tonight.” Buffy answered.
“Really,” Tara was a bit shocked. “I thought it was interfering with her academic achievement.”
“Well I don’t stay out all night anymore, just half of it. I get enough sleep and Buffy and I get a solid chance to kick some butt.”
“That’s great,” Willow smiled and laughed at the kick butt comment. “Sister bonding time.”
“Yeah.” Buffy smiled. “Plus it keeps her out of her boyfriend’s dorm room.”
“Oh… dorm rooms are nice.” Tara smiled and winked at her wife. The comment didn’t go unnoticed by the Summers’ sisters and Buffy cleared her throat unamused.
“Hello!” Buffy said as she walked to the door. “Trying to keep my little sister out of the dorm room.”
“Oh come on Buffy,” Dawn laughed as she walked out the door. “I do know about these things you know. I’m 18. I’m not a kid anymore.”
“Monopoly remember,” Buffy tried to cut off the topic of conversation. “All I want to know is Monopoly.”
Willow closed the door on their conversation knowing that it was just beginning. Tara turned out all the lights and they slowly climbed the stairs. Tara took willow tightly into her arms as they entered the bedroom.
“Thanks.”
“For what?’ Willow asked.
“Giving me a family.” She kissed her softly on the lips.
“Oh.” The warmth from her lover’s kiss moved through her. “You’re welcome.” Willow smiled. “I think I should thank you too.”
“For what?” Tara asked playfully.
“Being mine.” Willow kissed the blonde tenderly and led her slowly to the bed. They found comfort in each other’s arms as they snuggled in tightly.
Beep… Beep… Beep…
The alarm of Willow’s PDA sounded on her dresser and she quickly moved to turn it off. Tara was laughing loudly with frustration. Willow opened it to read the message from Buffy and Anya.
“OH! I am so going to kill them both.” Willow clenched her teeth with frustration.
“What is it honey?”
“Buffy and Anya again. They hot-linked their damn pants total on here.”
“Oh,” Tara tried to hide her amusement but burst into laughter. “Sweetie… you really did get yourself into it. And you armed them with that thing. I’m not surprised that they found a way to torture you with it. So who’s ahead?”
“Me,” Willow said sadly. “ But only by one.”
“Really,” Tara smiled. “Guess I need to pick up the pace.”
“Your pace is just fine,” Willow slid back into bed. “And don’t you dare encourage them.” She turned out the lamp, snuggled tightly into her lover’s arms and kissed her gently. “I love you.”
“I love you too,” Tara answered. “Even if, at the end of the day you do wear the pants.”
TBC
Urn of Osiris
_________________**
WILLOW: Because social phenomena don't have unproblematic objective existences. They have to be interpreted and given meanings by those who encounter them.
MIKE: Nicely put. So, Ruby, does that mean there are countless realities?
Everyone knows now! Whew, well that parts over! 
Loved the lil moment between Tara and Dawnie, it was so sweet! And the Pants Game continues, Willow's ahead by one! Tara has all the time in the world to catch up! 
that ROCKS Urn...and well I can kinda um TOTALLY relate to that feeling. Thanks for another amazing update...looking forward to more.
So happy you like the Sheet white Willow. It made me chuckle when I saw it in my head. But them my heads a bit Screwy these days. Oh more is on the way.
at: 9/19/02 2:15:09 pm
See how I did that.