Howdy kittens. First of all, i'm going to apologize for the lateness of this update. It's so annoying when you know what you want to write, but not how to write it! Anyway.... chap 9 looks as if it'll be the last one, but you know me and my fics. They never seem to want to end. Hope you won't get too bored
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Part 8Willow had just finished getting changed when Tara appeared in the doorway. Willow saw her reflection in the mirror on the side of her closet and turned around to face her.
Willow: Hey.
Tara: Hi.
After a moment of silence Willow smiled.
Willow: You can come in you know. Don’t have to stand out there.
Tara smiled nervously and walked across the room to sit on the end of the redhead’s bed. Willow frowned and closed the closet door, moving to sit beside Tara.
Willow: Are you okay?
The blonde sighed and nodded. Not convinced, Willow shifted her body so she was facing Tara. Tara lowered her head and mumbled quietly.
Willow: What?
She lifted her head and looked at Willow.
Tara: It w-was my d-dad.
As soon as Tara said it, Willow knew what she was talking about. She saw the tears fill Tara’s eyes and pulled the blonde into her arms. She didn’t know what to say, so Willow gently rocked Tara back and forth as the other girl cried. As they sat in silence, thoughts began to race through the minds of both girls. Willow was torn between feeling awful for Tara and feeling angry. Hate for the person who had done this to her friend had been bubbling inside her ever since Tara had appeared on her doorstep the night before, and now she knew who had done it, that anger raged inside of her wanting to get out. For Tara’s sake, she tried to keep it under control. There was a violent streak that ran deep inside the redhead and although it was not often exposed, people in the area knew not to mess with her or her friends. Willow didn’t like fighting; she only fought when it was necessary, but where she lived, it seemed to be necessary more than she’d like. After a while, she’d gotten herself a reputation of being a “tough-girl”. So had Faith. Everyone knew if you said anything wrong to one of them, you’d get a beating from the other. The same would happen if anyone said anything to Oz, except you’d get twice the beating. That’s the way it was around there. It was fight, or get beaten. Willow didn’t want Tara to see that side of her. The blonde didn’t deserve to become another pawn in someone’s game, which she knew would happen if Tara got involved with that side of her. Willow had enemies, just like everyone else. Enemies from both rival schools: which could get dangerous at times. That wasn’t who she was. Willow didn’t want to fight, but living where she did, she didn’t have much of a choice.
As her sobs began to subside, Tara noticed how close she and Willow were. The first time she saw her, Tara had instantly felt something for the redhead and each day it got stronger. Denying it didn’t work, because every time Willow would so much as look at her, the butterflies in her stomach would go crazy. Trying to forget about it was useless, because whenever Tara closed her eyes, the redhead in question would be before her. She couldn’t just make her feelings disappear. Tara lifted her head and found Willow looking at her.
Willow: I’m sorry.
Tara: You d-don’t have t-to be….
Willow: But I am. No one should have to go through that. Especially not you.
The blonde didn’t speak. Her mind drifted back to earlier that day when Buffy and Xander had arrived.
Tara: W-why didn’t you s-say anything?
Willow: What?
Tara: W-when Buffy thought…. When sh-she was going t-to hit you, you didn’t tell her I w-was here. Why?
Willow: I promised you I wouldn’t.
Willow smiled and brushed away the tears off Tara’s cheeks.
Willow: I didn’t know who she was…. She could have been anyone. Even if she’d tortured me…. I still wouldn’t have told her.
Tara: W…. w-why?
Willow: Because I….
Willow paused and dropped her hand back to her lap.
Willow: I don’t go back on my word. I wasn’t going to put you at risk of being hurt again….
The redhead dropped her gaze, shyly, before meeting Tara’s eyes again.
Willow: You’re too important to me.
Tara lowered her gaze for a second, unsure. Willow tilted her head to look at the blonde as she lifted her head once more.
Tara: I am?
Willow nodded, slowly.
Willow: You are.
The most amazing half grin appeared on the blonde’s face and Willow found it infectious. Little by little, she felt Tara’s hand begin to move towards her. Fingertips brushed the side of her leg, a feather light touch, but she felt it. She could hear her heart beating in her head. It was so loud, she wondered if Tara could hear it too. Gently, the blonde moved her hand up Willow’s leg, never braking eye contact. It all seemed to be happening in super slow motion and while she looked into the other girl’s eyes, Willow couldn’t even remember where she was. Tara’s fingertips softly brushed across the palm of Willow’s upturned hand, before taking it her own and entwining their fingers. After a second, the redhead glanced down at their hands and back up at Tara. Looking into her eyes, Willow could see something different there. She wasn’t sure what it was, but she could see it. As clear as day, and not being able to figure out what it was, was driving Willow crazy. Suddenly, she realised that Tara was smiling again and she wanted to ask why, but couldn’t speak. It was as if the blonde’s eyes held some sort of power over here and they held her in a gaze she wasn’t strong enough to break. Tara shifting her position brought her back to reality. The blonde had moved closer to her and was slowly continuing to do so. A burning heat began to rise inside her. Starting at her feet, moving up her legs and rolling over her stomach, causing the butterflies in her stomach to start buzzing around fanatically. The heat moved over her torso and up her arms, reaching the redhead’s neck. Suddenly, she began to notice how cold the metal of her necklace was against her skin. The searing heat hit her face and she instantly became flushed. And still she couldn’t break the gaze. Their faces were inches apart and both girls’ breathing had become ragged. Willow wanted to say something desperately but couldn’t find her voice. Just as she leaned forward, as her lips brushed ever so lightly over Tara’s, someone knocked at the Rosenberg’s front door. Willow jumped up off her bed and glanced back and forth between Tara and the door. Without a word, she left the room and fled down the stairs. Breathing heavily, she opened the door to find Faith standing on her porch.
Willow: Faith, what are you doing here?
The brunette raised an eyebrow, suggestively.
Faith: Hello to you, too.
Willow rubbed her forehead and apologized, letting Faith in and closing the door behind her.
Faith: What’s wrong?
Willow: Nothing.
Faith: Well, I usually get a hug and wild shrieks as my welcome, so….
Willow: It’s nothing, really….
Faith: Obviously it’s something.
They moved into the living room and sat down. Faith turned to her best friend and frowned.
Faith: Willow…. What it is?
Willow: Can we just drop it?
Faith: This is me, Will. Your best friend. The girl you come to with all your problems. Why can’t you talk to me about this?
Willow: It’s not worth talking about.
Faith: I think it is.
She looked at her friend and sighed. Faith wasn’t going to let this go.
Willow: Faith…. Have you ever been in love?
Faith: Um, newsflash Will. Cordelia? You remember, the girl I pine after day and night.
Willow: Yeah, but…. Are you in love with her? Or do you just….
Faith: Want to see her out of that cheerleading outfit?
The redhead giggled.
Willow: Yeah.
Faith: You think I’m that shallow?
Willow: What? No! I just…. I uh….
Faith: I’m kidding. Cordelia…. I dunno…. It’s complicated.
Faith ran her fingers through her dark hair and continued.
Faith: When we were thirteen, she pinned me up against the wall of the girl’s toilets and kissed me.
Willow mouth fell open and the brunette grinned.
Faith: Pretty hard to believe, huh? But, it happened. I’ve been somewhat smitten ever since then.
Her grin faded and she sighed.
Faith: To answer your question, no. It’s not love. It’s more of a “she’s the first girl ever to kiss me, therefore the only girl that’s interested in me” kinda thing. I wouldn’t call it love. Why did you ask anyway?
Willow was silent and it took Faith a second to realise exactly why she’d asked the question.
Faith: Will…. Are you falling for someone?
Still, she said nothing. Only lowered her gaze. Faith dipped her head to look at Willow, tilting it to one side. She didn’t need an answer, it was written all over the redhead’s face.
Faith: Who?
The conversation stopped when Tara walked into the room and Willow immediately lifted her head to look at the blonde.
Tara: C-can I get something t-to eat?
Willow: Sure you can. You don’t have to ask, Tara.
She smiled and Tara returned it, hesitantly. The blonde continued walked and disappeared into the kitchen, not seeing Willow’s eyes following her all the way. She turned back to Faith who looked at her and arched an eyebrow. The redhead’s smile faded. Willow dropped her head again while Faith sat, rather shocked.
Faith: Tara?
The redhead sighed.
Faith: I’m right, aren’t I?
Willow: I….
Faith: What?
Willow: I don’t know.
Faith frowned, confused.
Faith: What do you mean?
Willow lifted her head and the brunette realised that she wasn’t the only one who was confused.
Faith: You don’t know if you love her?
She nodded and asked Faith to lower her voice, remembering Tara was in the kitchen.
Willow: I’m…. confused.
Tears formed in the redhead’s eyes and Faith pulled the other girl into her arms.
Faith: Hey…. you’re not the only person who’s ever felt like this, Will. Everyone gets confused for one reason or another.
Willow: Why, why is it so hard?
Faith: If I knew the answer to that, I could make millions making everyone’s life less complicated.
After a while, after Tara had gone back upstairs, Faith asked Willow about her feelings.
Faith: Just tell me how you feel. It’ll help. Believe me, I know.
Willow smiled, remembering the first time Faith had told her about her feelings towards a girl in their math class.
Willow: Tara’s…. special. When I’m with her, it’s like nothing I’ve ever felt before. I’m happy, but it’s like this insane happy that makes me giddy. I get butterflies and there’s always this heat…. It’s everywhere. Consuming me. It’s like the moon’s out in the sky and darkness is everywhere…. But when I look at her, it’s sunny and everything is bright and shinning. There’s this electricity that passes between us when she touches me…. And when I look into her eyes…. There’s a force so strong there, I can’t look away.
Faith sighed and her body shook slightly as she chuckled.
Faith: Jeez Will, you
are a writer.
Willow: Do you think I’m crazy?
Faith: You’re not crazy, Will.
Willow: You mean I made sense?
Faith: The whole world might be messed up, but that made more sense then anything I’ve ever heard.
LaterAfter Faith had left, Willow sat alone in the living room, thinking. She and Faith had talked for a long time, but for some reason, she still wasn’t any clear on what she wanted. It was easy enough for her to say that she wanted Tara, but then there were all these obstacles in the way and she didn’t know how to get past them. Why couldn’t things be easy for her? Just once. She sighed and held her hands to her face.
This is driving me mad. I’ll be in a mental institution before I’m eighteen.She dropped her hands to her knees and looked vacantly at the blank television screen. She didn’t even hear Tara come down the stairs and it was only when the blonde stood in front of her that she noticed her.
Willow: Hey.
Tara: Hey.
Willow frowned as her eyes swept over Tara’s pale blue jacket.
Willow: What are you doing?
Tara: I um…. I’m g-gonna go home.
The redhead got to her feet, her frown deepening.
Willow: What?
Tara: I-it’s getting l-late…. And, and I never w-went home last night….
Willow: You’re not serious, are you? Tara, you can’t go back there. Not after what he did to you.
Tara: He-he doesn’t m-mean it. He just…. Gets angry. It’s m-my fault, I-I sh-should do as I’m told….
Willow: Don’t. Don’t stand there and make excuses for him.
Her voice softened and she took a step towards Tara.
Willow: None of this is your fault, Tara. Don’t blame yourself.
Tara: Willow…. I-I have to go home…. My-my dad, h-he’ll be worried.
She couldn’t believe she was hearing this. Tara blamed herself for what her dad was doing to her, was seconds away from going home and there was nothing Willow could do to stop her.
Willow: I can’t make you stay, Tara…. But I don’t want you to go.
Tara: I have t-to.
The taller girl leaned down and placed a soft kiss on the redhead’s cheek.
Tara: Thank you. F-for everything.
And she left.
TBC.....
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Hope you all enjoyed it
~ Jen