Gods Served and Abandoned

[chilled monkey]

I'm with Puff. The 'dryer lint' moment was hilarious



Only Willow could remember that at a time like this.



It makes sense that the monks would have a 'back-up' protector (since let's face it, the protection Buffy provides against Glory is laughable). Hopefully, in the next chapter, we will finally learn the whole story of Bev.'s identity and origins.

[darkest willow]

loved the update.



is this why, even though she cares about Tara, Bev never really came into her life that much? If Tara had been loved and nurtured, then she might never have come to Sunnydale. Having someone in her life who cared about her could have changed the future too much, having a negative effect. Its kinda funny how in our lives a lot of the best things come from the worst parts.

[TemperedCynic]

We've been building to this point since the beginning of this fic, and yet Bev's disclosures still have my jaw scraping pavement. **bends to pick up after himself**



Beverly knows about the monks. She knows about the Key. She know Dawn is that Key. She knows Glory, almost frighteningly well. Wow. OK. Is "Bev" sent in human form by the monks to forestall Glory's plans every millennia or so? Throw us a bone here, sweetie!



And this:

Quote:

---

Glory’s little corner of the universe makes just about every other demon dimension look like Pee-Wee’s Fun House—minus the porn, of course.

---

Damn girl, you must be a laugh riot in conversations. Such a wonderfully skewed way of looking at things!



One question: Beverly can see Tara's essence is bright, and clued in on Dawn as the Key immediately. So why was it so difficult for her to discern that Tara and Willow are witches. Powerful ones, to boot. Not to mention Buffy as the Slayer. Strikes me as odd...



Loved the haiku, btw. Also, I never saw Bev as a Faith kinda gal, tho. Angelina Jolie, maybe...

---

More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The other, to total extinction. Let us pray we have the wisdom to choose correctly. Woody Allen (1935 - )

[nika]

I sat for almost a whole day just reading this and it is to say the least ' AWSOME!' I wish I had some very eloquent words that could convey everything that I felt while I was reading, but I'm sure anything I say would pale to reality. I was moved, I wanted to cry, I laughed, I went awwww...isn't that cute, I excalimed, I held my breath...I'm pretty sure my family is making arrangements to have me commited as we speak. oooh, and the 'Wine me, dine me, 69 me homo fest' where do I sign up for that? I want my tickets now! Seriously 'Awsome!'

[AntigoneUnbound]

Hey Kittens ~~ Sorry to leave you hanging like that! I promise that Aunt Bev’s story will be fully divulged in the next update, which will actually arrive on Sunday. I’m really not trying to test your patience, I swear. Thanks for reading, folks.



Rose: Hey, look who takes home the yellow jersey again! Hang on tight to that cliff, Rose—I promise I won’t let you down.



Sela: Oh, Sela—when I read your post, my first impulse was to drop to my knees in gratitude and relief, because quite frankly, this was a difficult chapter to write. This isn’t due to emotional content, it’s because this was an almost exclusively expositional update and those are typically neither my favorite nor my best endeavors. I had information to impart, but wanted to do it in an interesting and realistic way. So often, it seems, installments like these are just sort of dumped into the reader’s lap by virtue of a monologue of some sort; yet conversations of such magnitude rarely take place like that. It was just incredibly gratifying to hear that it had held your interest, Sela—thank you!



Your analysis of Beverly is just fantastic, too. I love your assessment that she’s the best and worst of us, b/c she does and says things that aren’t socially acceptable or expected. As you said, she embodies that experience that all of us have had wherein we feel out of place, "not from here." You’re dead-on right, Sela—and as you point out, all of those features make her both appealing and somewhat disconcerting.



And finally, Sela, I just have to say that (a) I would never call you boring and (b) your discourse on the shoes and stiletto heels was simultaneously intriguing and slightly alarming. Thanks for the great feedback, Sela—it’s always such a delight to see your name here.



Justin: What do you mean, what happened? I explained it all, every little aspect of it, right at the very end! My God, if you don’t have that, nothing that follows will make any sense at all!



OK, just kiddin’ there…I promise that your patience and perseverance will be rewarded, Justin, and I can’t wait to see what you think of the revelations to follow. Thanks!



Ruth: Hey Ruth—how’s it going? Yes, Bev is intentionally wrought w/ considerable ambiguity. She definitely protected Tara and Willow, but why didn’t she come clean earlier and exactly what kind of power (and in what measure) does she have? And I did make her likable, very purposefully so, b/c I think it’s so easy to consider anyone that likable automatically of the good. But is she? Of course, the fact that you share Tara’s reservations about trusting Bev speaks to your excellent taste! Thanks for your feedback, Ruth, and have a great weekend!



Russ: You think I’m cruel and unusual? You’ve never watched "The Bachelor," have you?



As you can probably infer, the questions of what constitutes family and what dictates our intimacy with them very much captivate me. Bev is—or so Tara has assumed—both her biological relative and someone to whom she sees herself becoming very close. What happens to that now, as Tara discovers that Bev is a little more complicated than she had assumed?



I love your point about Buffy’s consternation to find that she’s not the only one lookin’ after little sister. For all her angst about the burden of being the Slayer, I think a part of her thrived on that sense of exclusivity, of being so very special. And now? To discover that she’s just one of who knows how many? Ah, troubling, I suspect—even though she’ll probably feel that she should be grateful that Dawn has multiple protectors.



Hope your time away is good, Russ. Take care, and thanks!



Dark Magic Willow: The stuffed panda’s on the way! The author of the exquisite "Dark Rose" should have all such rewards as befits a detective of your stature. (Just how tall are you, anyway?)



I promise you, DMW, that all will be revealed in the next update, including the exact location of the dryer lint within the country of Finland. Thanks for following this story, good soul.



Grimaldi: You make an interesting point: should the monks have told Buffy she wasn’t the only guardian? I’ll address that in the next update, actually, and I’ll be curious to know what you think of that disclosure/rationale. Thanks, Grimaldi, and have a great weekend.



Dear Puff, the Muse of Wimples;

I imagine you have lovely dimples. You know, it feels really good to know that this update had build-up and suspense to it, b/c I was definitely aiming for that. I didn’t want it to be a "dumping" of information, yet I also didn’t want to be coy or too elusive. I think all parties are wanting to trust the others yet exquisitely aware of the high stakes, such that misplaced trust has catastrophic consequence—not just for themselves, but for so many other people as well. And I’m so glad you liked the Finnish dryer lint comment, Puff—I can’t really explain it, but that whole concept just delights me beyond what is probably reasonable and healthy. Thanks for the kind words and for following this story so faithfully.



SySnootles: Hey—glad you liked the ending! I’m definitely not trying to yank people’s chain; I just didn’t want to dump everything in one reading. Like the consequences of this disclosure, the disclosure itself emerges; takes shape over time. Forget hobbies, SS—stick with Pens! And yes, I understand that elusive "something" you’re referring to in the physical exchanges b/w our girls. I love understated, understood avowals of commitment and constancy. In this update, Tara doesn’t need Willow to hold forth on anything or declare her love to the cosmos—she needs her to be present and anchored. Thanks for the kind thoughts, SySnootles.



ChilledMonkey: Glad you liked the dryer lint moment, CM! And yes, Buffy has yet to prove that she can throw up (as in extend, not vomit) any kind of reasonable defense against Glory—she definitely needs some back-up! Thanks for reading, CM, and have a great weekend.



Darkest Willow: You raise some great questions about the reason(s) Bev had limited contact w/ Tara before. I agree: it’s amazing how some of our greatest joys and successes emerge from those things which were painful or difficult at first. It’s truly a testimony to the fact that we really can’t see where a given hallway will lead us. Hope you like where it goes from her, DW; thanks for following this.



Tempered Cynic: Get ready, TC—there’s a bone comin’ your way soon! And I’m so glad you liked the Pee Wee reference…I wanted something so harmless, so totally benign, and PW’s Fun House popped into my mind, but then I thought immediately of his little adult theater foray, and had to include that. Free association—live the excitement!



You ask a great question about Beverly’s seeming selective perception: she can discern Dawn’s essence, but no one else’s. Let me know what you think of that explanation in this next update, if you’d be so kind. Thanks for the good thoughts, TC—always great to see your name!



Nika: Wow--what incredibly kind words! I'm so glad you're enjoying this. And the "Wine Me, Dine Me, Sixty-Nine Me Festival of Homos" will be taking place in September at my place. There's no charge for attendance; just enjoy yourself! Thanks, Nika!



OK—that’s all for now. Please believe me when I say that I’m not trying to yank your collective chains, Kittens. I’ll be anteing up on Sunday!



Take care,

Mary

Edited by: AntigoneUnbound at: 7/11/03 6:54 pm

[Puff]

Quote:

---

Dear Puff, the Muse of Wimples; I imagine you have lovely dimples.

---

I should not have been drinking milk when I read that. Oh and you do not need to apologize for the cliffhanger, we all love the waiting secretly. Looking forward to the Sunday update

---

So, the day started and I knew my name and had my pants on. So far, so good. Yay.
Amber Benson

[The Rose24]

AU,



It's been a while since I've been first. You usually post after my bedtime. I was waiting around last night right after you said you would have an update.

Tara: My heart doesn't stutter.


Tara: Willow, I got so lost.

Willow: I found you. I will always find you.

[Grimlock72]

Hmm...



For all the talking thats done, we don't learn all that much about Beverly. Neither do Tara or Willow. They should ask some pointed questions and not be diverted until they have the answers to them.



Why did Bev come to Sunnydale ? If it was to keep Dawn safe why isn't she with her and why did she shiver when she felt Dawn enter the cafe ? If she came to Sunnydale for Tara, why didn't she tell her about Glory or at least try to ? (and if she came just for Tara, doesn't that conflict with her task of protection Dawn ?)



Besides that, Bev can talk all she likes but that won't restore my trust in her. Problem is that she's only talking NOW because that was kinda forced upon her with repelling Glory in full view of Willow and Tara. Bev didn't come clean because she WANTED to.



Another question for Bev, *why* was the power of the key bundled and contained at all ? What's the GOOD it can do ?? So far it seems to be a ticking nuclear bomb with no redeeming qualities. I tend to favour destroying bombs before they go off.



Despite Bev's assurance she genuinly does like/love Tara, I can't help but wonder. What is that assurance based on, memories ?? We all know how reliable those are once monks get involved. We know when the key was created (start of season 5), it stands to reason that Bev was created around the same time, not before. We really don't know much about Bev and most of what we do know is suspected planted material. Definitly NOT trusting Bev here, nope.



After the questioning just send Bev over to Buffy. There she can protect her precious key. No need for her to be around Tara and thus remind her what she lost (again). I'm disliking Bev even more for putting Tara through more emotional turmoil, poor girl.



Oh, I actually like 'to be continued'... beats lines like 'the end' : -->



Hmm... if the above looks like a mini-anti-Bev-rant... it's intended :-)



Grimmy

--
"You hurt Tara," Willow said too calmly. "The last one who tried that was a god. I made her regret it." -- Unexpected Consequences by Lisa of Nine

[shuyaku]

Ooh, ooh, ooh I loved this update! Not all the updates can be actiony, smutty, fast-paced romps. Well, they can in some fics, but let us not forget this one comes with a plot. This is exactly the type of update that had to happen to move the plot forward and let all of us 'watching' get an inkling of what the $@% is going on... just who IS Aunt Bev... why does Glory think she was destroyed... how can she protect Dawn... why is dryer lint safest in Finland? And I'm with several other kittens - I caught myself leaning in to get a better view of Aunt Bev - uh... not romantically



The exchange between the three was fantastically real. Most of us have probably had that kind of chat - you know without the whole 'hellgod' aspect. But a conversation where neither side is too willing to start/share. You spend what seems like forever skirting the issue until someone decides you could grow old and die like that and finally spurts something out.



I completely understand both sides in this and their apprehension. I see Tara's as more of a trust issue. She has really been betrayed by everyone in her biological family. As much as she wants to trust Aunt Bev, those issues aren't going to let her just yet. Aunt Bev hasn't been exactly truthful - and Tara knows that now.



On the other hand, I see Aunt Bev's as more of a protective thing. Protective of Tara, 'cause she does really love her. In light of all that has happened to Tara, I think Aunt Bev would do just about anything to not cause anymore pain to her niece. Also, protective of Dawn - the less people that know about Dawn the better. Protecting Dawn is protecting the world. Probably not a lot of applicants for that job



I wasn't too surprised that she couldn't tell or didn't know W/T were witches or that Tara's mom was one. Julia had to hide that aspect of her life and taught Tara to hide it as well. I kinda assumed that Aunt Bev is attuned only to the Key and to Glory. The monks may have been inspired when they hid the Key as the Slayer's sister, but they were obviously lacking on the research skills.



My main question is whether Aunt Bev knew the Key was in Sunnydale? Was she relieved in a way that Tara called and seemed to need 'something?' Kill two birds with one stone kinda thing... I could write tons more on this supposition, but my brain hurts - so I'll just wait 'til the next update



As for the cliffhanger, I'm with SySnootles - I liked it. When your favorite show ends the season with a cliff hanger - you got to admit that it's fun. Sure you may curse at the TV and shows creators for causing you a whole summer of angst, fret, and turmoil. But that's the point. They want you to care. They want you to be anticipating the new season. And deep down, you want that too. Or maybe I'm just a masochist



I think my mantra this weekend will be, "Is it Sunday yet?"

shuyaku

[AntigoneUnbound]

Wow, Kittens...It's fascinating to read the spectrum of reactions to Bev and her disclosures (or lack thereof).



What's that, Shuyaku? No--I said spectrum, not speculum. Yes, it's quite different.



Anyway, I can't wait to hear what you think of her after tomorrow. Thanks for all the great feedback.



Puff: Wimpular matters aside, I'd like to thank you, on behalf of my entire, dairy-farming family, for drinking milk. It does a Bride of Christ good!



Rose: Wow, I'm flattered you stayed up! The post tomorrow will take place in the evening, but it should be before midnight Eastern Standard (US) Time. I'm just always amazed at your response time!



Grimmy: Boy, when you don't like somebody, you don't like him/her! So...you make some interesting points re: Bev's actions and their implications about her character. Keep in mind, though, that she did repel Glory. It's also been a total of 2.5 days since she arrived, and the focus has been on Tara's family all that time. OK, I'll stop defending Bev--just read her w/ an open mind in this next update and see what you think of her. Of course, I know you're not a big Dawn fan, so maybe the fact that Bev's supposed to protect someone you loathe doesn't exactly earn her big points! In any case, I'll be really interested to see what you think of this character as the story takes shape. Thanks for writing, Grimlock--I can always count on you to be a discerning reader!



Shuyaku: I totally agree about cliffhangers--we curse the screen and those wretched producers/writers/directors for making us wait all summer...but the key is that we care, as you said. And I'm really gratified to know you're into this story, and enjoying the way it's taking shape. I think that most of my writing is character-based, so "Wham, Bam, Thank you Ma'am" action-style stories aren't really my forte. I'm just glad it doesn't feel like I'm trying to jerk you around, you know? And why is dryer lint safest in Finland? Well, it's a little-known fact that in 1987, Finland passed the world's first (and as-yet only) "Dryer Lint Protection and Sustenance Law," under which all dryer lint must be kept in a secured location and provided such amenities as are needed for it to survive. And now if you'll excuse me, I need to take some more medication.



OK, I'm back. Anyway, Shuyaku, I really appreciate the kind thoughts re: plot and pacing. It definitely soothes this not-so-savage beast.



Thanks,

Mary

[justin]

While reading the different reaction's to Aunt Bev it seemed that people seem to be against her because she kept secrets from Willow and Tara but are overlooking the fact that Willow and Tara kept secrets from Aunt Bev. Also, considering that if it weren't for the fact that she wasn't a hopped up uber -whatever the three vampires from earlier would have killed her, there lack of forthrightness almost got her killed.



So while I agree Aunt Bev does need to do some serious explaining in the next part, I don't think that Willow And Tara should judge her too harshly. Of course that's just IMHO

I understand, you should be with the person you l-love


I am

[Washi]

Mary, just checking in from Tunis, and I gotta say, this update was one hell of a chocer even thought u kinda hinted that Bev was something more. I said she was from the first time she came in the story. Great update... I hope to be able to read more soon!

[JustSkipIt]

Hey Mary,



I just got caught up and great job! That's brilliant. For a few moments I thought you were going to completely mess with my mind by saying that the monks made W&T and inserted them into reality too which would be a major mind-mess. But this... Oooohhhh you! Great job. Of course Aunt Bev is there to safe-guard the key. Those monks were idiots but smart ones. Hmmm, traveling all day. Does that make sense? I'm not sure.



Glad that things are getting out in the open. Woo hoo for your writing. Debra

---

"Seek the company of those who are still seeking the truth and run away from those who think they have found it.--J.T. O'Hara

[AntigoneUnbound]

Hey All~~Some final replies, and then an update to follow. Thanks!



Justin: You make a very good point: Beverly wasn't the only one guilty of, shall we say, a certain reticence. My perspective is that all of these people live incredibly surreal, unusual lives and thus can have very good reasons for their discretion. Hope you like where it goes from here. Thanks, Justin.



Washi: Hey, greetings from across the many, many miles! Yeah, I've been hinting at Bev's "extra-special" quality--let me know what you think of the ensuing revelations.



Debra: So you're back from vacation, eh? Did you have a good time? Yeah, there's a definite element of mind-f'g here, but I promise you that I wouldn't do anything too drastic to our beloved babes. Thanks for the kind words, Debra, and welcome back to regular life.

[AntigoneUnbound]

Gods Served and Abandoned

Disclaimers: I don’t own them; Joss does. He sucks. Life isn’t fair. The end.
Spoilers: Up to season 5. I’ve played slightly with the timing of a certain Big Bad’s appearance, with some implications for Dawn’s entrance.
Rating: R for now; if it changes, I’ll give heads-up.
Distribution: Sure, with acknowledgement.
Feedback: Rocks my world!

*****
Part 36
*****

She isn’t real. She says she loves me; she says she loved my mother. But she isn’t real.

It felt as if she had been given the chance to wander about a beautiful, inviting house and then abruptly told that it was actually crumbling, would tumble and collapse around her.

"Tara, do you understand what I’m saying?" Beverly’s voice seemed to come from a great distance.

Numbly, she replied, "You were created. Like Dawn. You’re energy made flesh."

Beverly’s laughter was brittle. "Yes, well, I guess that’s pretty much it, at least the Cliff Notes version. Basically, I’m an inter-dimensional security guard."

"So you didn’t really exist until recently? I mean, exist in human form?" Willow asked incredulously.

"Nope. I only picked up this mortal coil a few months ago. Apparently I’m pretty old, too—although not as old as the Key. But the word ‘I’ is kind of misleading, because the energy had no consciousness, no mind. I can pretty much guarantee that the energy didn’t like Buffalo wings."

Tara knew that her aunt—that this person in front of her—was trying to make this easy for her, but she also knew that the effort was in vain.

So I’ve lost her, too. Let me know when the leaving’s finally over, God, OK? I’m just gonna keep my eyes closed until then.

Her own voice was leaden as she met Beverly’s gaze and said, "Tell me. Tell us. What’s your story?" She could see Beverly wince slightly at the words, but she didn’t have the energy to be more gracious.

"My story…OK, let’s see…Basically, I was molded into human form by the same monks who transformed Dawn. I was given memories the same way she was; everyone who would have reason to believe I exist, from the time of my putative birth until this moment, absolutely believes it. Nathan believes he has a half-sister; if my parents were alive, they would be utterly convinced that they had a daughter named Beverly."

"But when they died," Willow argued, "they believed they had two sons."

"Right," Beverly acknowledged. "But Nathan can recall conversations he had with our mother about me. And Quinn," she continued, glancing at Tara, "he really did call me when he was in the hospital."

"So you’re supposed to protect the Key," Willow continued thoughtfully. "Even though you were…placed in Dallas, hundreds of miles away from Dawn."

"The monks knew the danger of having all of the Protectors in one place, just like they knew that having only one Protector at all would be lunacy."

"So how many are there? Protectors?" Willow asked.

"I don’t know," Beverly shrugged. "I think it’s one of those deals where they figured it was safer if we didn’t know about each other. That way we couldn’t risk each other’s safety if we were captured."

Tara looked up sharply. "What did Glory mean when she said she thought you’d been destroyed?"

Beverly’s face paled suddenly, and she looked at her hands for several seconds. When she spoke, pain radiated through her voice. "Somehow, Glory got wind of the fact that there were Protectors sent to guard the Key. She managed to track some of us. The ones she found…Their deaths were not pleasant ones." She closed her eyes as if trying to ignore some horrific movie.

"But you—today…" Willow fumbled for words. "I mean, what kept her from destroying you today?"

Beverly looked up and for a moment, there was a flicker of the familiar light in her eyes. "Miss Glory has some issues with the Protectors themselves. We repel her in some pretty profound ways." Her voice grew somber again. "The others…She sent her fucking little sycophant minions to kill them, with instructions to torture them into giving away information about other Protectors." She looked at Tara, and there was pride in her voice when she said, "She didn’t believe them when they said they didn’t know. I heard that one of them said that the only other Protector she knew of was Barbra Streisand. If it ever comes to it, I just pray that I have the same defiance."

"Who will you pray to?" Tara asked, her voice empty.

"Whoever listens and cares enough to come through for me," Beverly replied without hesitation or self-consciousness.

There was an uncomfortable silence, until Willow asked, "So how exactly do you protect the Key?"

Beverly grinned. "You mean, what’s my superpower? Well, from what I can tell, we basically weaken Glory with our presence. We disorient her; she feels the urge to get away from us as quickly as possible. Sorta like listening to Howard Stern," she nodded thoughtfully. "Frankly, I would’ve liked something a little more, you know…impressive. A little superhuman strength; maybe the ability to transport her to another dimension. Instead, I’m basically high-powered body odor."

"How did you find out?" Tara asked. She knew that the being in front of her, who had said she loved her, desperately wanted some sign of affection or compassion from her, but she simply didn’t have it right now, and she wasn’t sure it would be pulling into the station any time soon.

"Well, I was just minding my own business…preparing lesson plans the way I’d been doing—or so I thought—for the last few years. Tanya and I had taken a two-week vacation in Colorado…we’re both ski nuts. We get back home and I’m finally making myself sit down to prepare for the new school year, when I find this book in one of my desk drawers—it was wedged all the way in the back, and I wouldn’t have even found it if I hadn’t had this weird sense that I had to look back there. And when I say ‘book,’ I don’t mean a concise, nicely-bound treatise on Keys and dimensional portals. This was one seriously old text, and the language was basically a series of symbols, unlike anything I’d ever encountered before."

"So how did you decipher it?" Willow asked, clearly fascinated. "How did you find someone to even recognize it, much less someone you could trust enough to translate it all?"

Beverly gave her a droll smile. "That’s when I really knew something was up, because one minute I was staring at this ancient volume, thinking, ‘What the hell is this?’ And the next minute, I was reading it. Just zipping right along like I was reading my daily horoscope."

"God, you must have freaked," Willow breathed.

"And that is what we English teachers like to call ‘understatement,’" Beverly grinned.

"Did you believe it? I mean, right away?"

"You know, it may sound weird, but I totally believed it. I was reading it, and it was like I just recognized it. My life up until then had been one truth, and now there was this other truth; and it didn’t negate the first one, but it also resonated so deep inside of me that I knew it was all true."

"What about Tanya?" The question was out before Tara had even considered it. She watched as Beverly’s grin faded.

"Tanya…Oh goddess…I had absolutely no idea what to do. I loved her so much—I love her so much—and I had just discovered that prior to a few months ago, I hadn’t existed in this form. And here she thought—we both thought—that we’d been together for years. And that’s the thing…" Beverly’s voice became urgent. "For all intents and purposes, we had been together. We had built a life together; we were planning a commitment ceremony. All of it was real." She leaned back, staring out the window once more, and Tara knew that she was reliving that time. "Finally, I realized that I couldn’t keep this from her. She had a right to know, and if she left me…God, I could barely form the thought in my head, much less imagine how I’d actually survive if she did leave me. Forget annihilation by a hell god; I’d just crumple up and die."

"What did she say?" Willow asked, her eyes wide. Once again, a wry smile creased its way across Beverly’s face.

"OK, so I tell her I have to talk to her; there’s something I have to tell her. This is three days after my epiphany in cuneiform. And I’ve been noticing that there’s this awkwardness between us that’s never been there, ever, in our relationship, and I figure it’s because she’s picking up on my little pile o’ angst, right? So I start in with the whole thing, just figuring I’ll start at the beginning and keep it simple—you know, ‘Honey, apparently I’m a transformed ball of energy. I have to protect another transformed ball of energy from being used by a hell god to open the doors between dimensions. Hope you’re OK with that.’ And I get about one full sentence out of my mouth and then Tanya asks, ‘Babe, does this have anything to do with gods and other dimensions?’ Turns out she’d been dreaming of exactly the scenario that I’d gone through, every night for three nights running." Beverly shook her head, laughing at the memory. "At that point, we did what all women in same-sex relationships do: we processed it all. And to condense an incredibly complex story into pamphlet form, she decided that she wanted to be with me no matter what. She said she had scheduled some one-on-one time with her heart, which told her that leaving me would be giving in to fear. The way she put it, there wasn’t any erasing what she flat-out knew about us, which was that we belonged together." Beverly hastily swiped her hand across her eyes, and then shook her head. "As you can probably tell, I have a pretty incredible partner."

"I know the feeling," Willow murmured, and Tara held on to her hand more tightly.

Willow’s real. I know she’s real. And as long as she’s real, I can handle anything.

"So why did you come to Sunnydale?" she asked abruptly. "It wasn’t really to see me, was it?"

Beverly looked taken aback for a moment, and then said simply, "Actually, Tara, it was to see you. I didn’t know Dawn was here. After we spoke on the phone, I just knew that I needed to talk to you, see you in person. Believe me, I nearly fell out of my chair when Dawn walked into that pizza parlor last night."

Tara battled between wanting to believe her and fearing that she had been just a convenient excuse for Beverly to be closer to the Key.

Eyes narrowing, Beverly asked, "You think I don’t really care about you, is that it? That I found out Dawn was here and used seeing you as a way to keep an eye on her."

Tara didn’t trust herself to speak.

"Oh, Sweetie—what can I tell you? Maybe the monks, or fate, or whatever, made it so imperative to me that I come see you. All I can say is that when I talked to you on the phone, I wasn’t thinking about the Key or Glory or anything even remotely mystical—I was thinking about my niece, whom I love very much." She fell quiet, looking at her hands. "I was also afraid that I wouldn’t…I didn’t know when any of this cosmic upheaval was going to happen, you know? And I was afraid I wouldn’t get to see you again if I didn’t go now." Her voice, as she finished, was barely audible.

"But why didn’t you tell us?" Tara asked, the anguish finally creeping into her voice.

"Tara, I had no idea you were mixed up in anything supernatural, much less Our Lady of Skankiness herself. I figured you were two college women, going to classes and attending protests and living off of macaroni and cheese. What was I supposed to do? Lean forward in the middle of Red Lobster and say, ‘Hey, I’ve been meaning to tell you: I’m a transformed ball of energy, created by monks to prevent the doors of hell from opening.’ Yeah, right…"

"But…still…" Tara argued persuasively.

"Besides," Beverly broke in, leaning forward, "I’m not the only one who kept a little secret. You two didn’t say anything about being witches, did you?"

"But you were so dead-set against it," Willow countered. "You made it sound like only the marginally-lucid believed in such things."

"OK, good point," Beverly acknowledged grudgingly. "I was hoping you two were way far away from anything that could be magical or dangerous."

"Way far away?" Willow echoed. "We practically pay room and board at magical and dangerous." Looking closely at Beverly, she added, "Why couldn’t you tell when you met us? I mean, one look at Dawn and you knew; but you didn't recognize Tara and I?"

"'Tara and me,'" Beverly corrected her absently. Catching Willow's bemused gaze, she shrugged. "Hey, as far as I'm concerned, I've been an English teacher a lot longer than I've been a mystical guardian. Anyway," she continued, "I guess my receivers are set to pick up Key waves. Nothing went off with you two or with Buffy."

"I get that," Willow mused. Shaking her head, she continued, "This is just too bizarre. I mean, what are the odds that all of us would be involved with the Key?"

But Beverly disagreed. "Actually, it’s probably not that bizarre at all. I mean, yeah—from a statistical perspective, you wouldn’t predict it. But doesn’t it seem, when you think about it, that none of this is random at all?"

"What do you mean?" Tara asked, frowning.

"I mean that we all ended up here—right here, in this room, connected in the ways that we are—because we were supposed to. Tara, why did you decide to attend UC-Sunnydale?"

"Because they have a great literature department, and they offered me a good scholarship package."

"But didn’t you get offers from other places? Places with great lit departments, that offered you good financial aid?" Beverly persisted.

"Well, yes…" Tara conceded.

"But you chose this school—where you met Willow, and fell in love, and also honed your magical ability and joined the Vampire Slayer in her crusade against evil. Why?"

"I guess…I guess because it just felt like the place to be; like I should be here, even though I had no earthly idea what adventures awaited me." She glanced at Willow, who was smiling that one smile, the one that said she just adored Tara; and for the first time in hours, she felt a tiny glimmer of lightness.

"That’s what I mean," Beverly nodded. "It seems so random, so statistically unlikely, and yet we all end up where we’re supposed to be, or at least that’s what I believe. I think I’m supposed to be here, and you two are supposed to be here, and be together, and Tara, I think I’m supposed to be your aunt. As far as I’m concerned, I am your aunt."

But grief, hot and searing, wrenched through Tara so sharply that she fought to catch her breath. "But everything you told me—all those stories about knowing my mom and idolizing her and being at her wedding…None of it’s true. That never happened. You didn’t know my mother at all."

Beverly recoiled as if slapped, and then she rocked forward and almost shouted, "Don’t you dare say that! I did know her, and I loved her. I met her when Nathan brought her to the house the first time, and I drew pictures for her that she always made a fuss over and said how pretty they were. I was the flower girl at their wedding, and I was so nervous about messing up that I almost made myself sick, and Julia sat down and pulled me onto her lap, even though she was already in her wedding gown, and she told me that it was OK to be scared because she was scared, too; she was scared she would trip and fall in her big fancy dress but she said we could both get through it." The words were pouring out of her now, punctuated with half-sobs.

"I remember all of that, Tara, and don’t you dare try to take it away from me. Because I don’t know how much of a future I have, but no one gets to take away my past. I remember all of that; I remember it, and it keeps me sane to know that people like Julia and Tanya can love me."

And then she stopped fighting the sobs and wrapped her arms around her waist as if trying to hug herself.

Willow says I do that, when I’m too sad to talk. And then she takes me in her arms and rocks me a little bit and after a while I know I won’t drown in the sadness.

Willow, she knew, was wiser about things of the heart than she gave herself credit for. So Tara trusted that wisdom now, pushing aside her own grief and anger, and moving over onto the bed to take her aunt into her arms. She didn’t really even know what she said, only that she said the words with kindness.

Within seconds, Willow had joined her, and Tara recognized, in some deep, ancient way, that she was part of something special—here, in this moment, these women who had ended up where they were needed and who tried so very valiantly to do the right thing.

This is my family. Am I really anything but blessed?

*****

To Be Continued

*****

[The Rose24]

Awww. This is so beautiful. I must say Tanya really is amazing. I am not sure if I would take things as well as she did if I found out the person I am in love with used to be a big ball of energy.



This is just like Willow. Willow decided to stand right by Tara's side when she(Tara) believed she was a demon. This is even before Spike confirms Tara is NOT a demon. Tara even offers to leave, but Willow stops her before she gets very far.



Also, thank God Tara really does have family. She deserves it.

Tara: My heart doesn't stutter.


Tara: Willow, I got so lost.

Willow: I found you. I will always find you.

Edited by: The Rose24  at: 7/13/03 10:34 pm

[SySnootles]

What a heart-wrenching update.



Gosh, do I love Aunt Beverly. You've created a perfect compliment for Tara. Her love and passion for her life just melt my heart.



And Tara, what else must she endure in her lifetime? Thank the goddess she has Willow.



This part...



"So I’ve lost her, too. Let me know when the leaving’s finally over, God, OK? I’m just gonna keep my eyes closed until then."



just breaks my heart.



Another wonderful update. I can't wait for the next one.



Catie

[justin]

So Bev finally makes with the forthrightness. I have to say that, yes I do like where the story is going



This is the line I liked most

Quote:

---

"I remember all of that, Tara, and don’t you dare try to take it away from me. Because I don’t know how much of a future I have, but no one gets to take away my past. I remember all of that; I remember it, and it keeps me sane to know that people like Julia and Tanya can love me."

---

It seemed interesting that Tara seemed to be reacting differently to the news about Bev than she did to the news about Dawn. Though this might be because she had had some time to process the information before talking to Dawn, or that she was upset about apparently losing an aunt.



It was good to see that Tara was willing to put this aside though in order to comfort Bev. Though I guess that being Tara she couldn't have done otherwise.



I guess that it's logical for Bev to have been in Dallas rather than Sunnydale since if all of the keys guardians were in Sunnydale that would be a bit of a clue that the key was as well. They're probably just programmed to be in the right place when they're needed.



A question that just occurred to me is what will happen to Bev when Glory's been beaten and she's not needed any more.



ETA: I'm glad that I read the update before reading your post one the update thread. Otherwise the shock would have been too much

I understand, you should be with the person you l-love


I am

Edited by: justin at: 7/14/03 1:58 am

[russ]

Mary, I'm so glad I was able to read this before leaving town. It's a beautiful chapter that brings up and resolves the major difficulty of Bev's ball-of-energyness. In seeing what Tara & Bev are going through, we gain more understanding of what Buffy & Dawn experienced. The sense of "you're not real" on the one hand, and "I remember all of that, Tara, and don’t you dare try to take it away from me," on the other. Tanya is pretty remarkable for accepting it all so quickly. It's a little harder for Tara, but then she's had so many family betrayals. In the end, though, love and compassion win through, and her realization in the last sentence says it all: "This is my family. Am I really anything but blessed?"



Russ

[darkmagicwillow]

Magic body odor? You have the strangest sense of humor, but so must I, since I laughed aloud at that one. So the Orb of Dagon is a lump of smelly magical cheese?



I like how you explored the concept of Beverly's relationship being created whole with its own past, as that's an aspect of the Key's manipulation of reality that we're not able to see with the younger Dawn. I've often thought that they should've used existing characters to take on the new roles they introduced in seasons 4-5 and in particular, Tara should've been the Key and so this story gives us a hint of what that would've been like.



Like other posters, I noticed that Tara reacted differently to Beverly than she did to Dawn, but it felt right to me, and not just because of the revelation of Beverly's unreality comes amidst Tara's other family problems, though it is different to be offered a key to your family only to have it revealed to be an illusion. I do agree with Tara:

But grief, hot and searing, wrenched through Tara so sharply that she fought to catch her breath. "But everything you told me—all those stories about knowing my mom and idolizing her and being at her wedding…None of it’s true. That never happened. You didn’t know my mother at all."

Though I wouldn't take away Beverly's beliefs about herself, she can't offer Tara the glimpse into her past that she was looking for. One only needs to ask why doesn't Beverly know who Tara's biological father was, to begin seeing the problems. Is it because a young sister didn't have a chance to find that out, or is it because the monks didn't know the truth so the false story of Nathan being Tara's father was incorporated into their creation of Beverly?

--

"Omnia mutantur, nihil interit." -- "Everything changes, but nothing is truly lost."

[darkest willow]

great update! It's kinda weird how Bev and Tara have all the same characteristics even though they're not that closely related (putting aside the part where she's not real.) Did the monks use her for a sort of model? I mean, with Dawn, you just make her a teenager, and all that comes with it, but Bev was fully grown, with a fully developed personality, so it would be harder to just start from scratch.



I also loved the way Bev was so protective of her memories. It was kind of like, "this is who i am, and i already doubt it, so stay away B/c i'm done looking at them to make sure they're real." Yeah.



-Kat

[Grimaldi]

great update



i liked the talk between all of them.

I'm not stealing, I'm just taking things without paying for them. In what twisted dictionary is that stealing?
Oh, relax, Casper, I'm not here to interrupt your blissing. Too much makes you go blind, though, you know

[Puff]

Wow what an update. What I love about your writing is that you are able to chop our hearts up into little pieces and scatter those pieces around. And yet at the same time I always find something to laugh about. Apart from the body odor comment I have too say that my (often bizarre) sense of humor was tickled by this...

Quote:

---

"But…still…" Tara argued persuasively.

---

I'm so glad that at the end of the update Tara was able to give comfort to Beverly. And I'm also really glad that Bev stood up to Tara for her memories as well. Because no one should take someone's memories.



Thanks Mary Well worth the wait.

---

So, the day started and I knew my name and had my pants on. So far, so good. Yay.
Amber Benson

Edited by: Puff  at: 7/14/03 8:32 am

[chilled monkey]

Brilliant update. I hope that Tanya will make an appearance in this story (prefferably after Glory has been vanquished).

[Grimlock72]

Seems Bev is the life version of a DragonSphre :-) It is hard to conquer/kill enemies just by repelling them though. Can't keep running forever. Having those guardians spread out over all the US is all well and good, BUT.... it really doesn't do much good to have Glory find the key in Sunnydale and having a guardian in Dallas now does it ?? Surely Bev was somehow triggered to Glory's location, either that or the munks were incredible stupid. (come to think of it, heh....)



From Bev's point of view it makes sense to pretend she is real. Can't imagine living a life while constantly thinking to yourself 'I am not real'. So I *do* understand Bev's point of view.



I just don't agree with it One of the main problems I have with Dawn and Bev is that ALL their relations with other people are either implanted or at the very least based on implanted memories. I wouldn't mind too much if Aunt Bev just happened to walk by and wanted to be a good friend to Tara. It's her building on implanted memories what irks me.



For example; what Bev said about her relationship with Tanya (who conveniently had a 3-day dream to fall back in line).. "All of it was real".. well I'm sorry to say but it really wasn't. The only 'real' part were the days from your creation till the moment you discovered you were created. Not only was Bev's love for Tanya implanted, the reverse is true as well. Some basis for a relationship that is.



Lots of quotable stuff in this update;

Quote:

---

"You think I don't really care about you, is that it? That I found out Dawn was here and used seeing you as a way to keep an eye on her."

---

My first thought when I read was to respond with "yeah and good luck convincing me otherwise" :-). I realise I'm not being all that nice to Aunt Bev, I'm just pissed that she turns out to be not-so-good for Tara as well .



Another quote:

Quote:

---

and it keeps me sane to know that people like Julia and Tanya can love me

---

Heh, well the point is that you DON'T know that Bev. You're just refusing to acknowledge that to keep yourself sane. Certainly Julia can never have loved Bev because she died before Bev was created. That entire relationship is only implanted memories, nothing more.



I fully understand Bev wants to keep her (implanted) memories. What ticks me of is that for her to have her memories all the people in those memories were 'adapted' to fit. Memories of a lot of people were violated just to fit Bev into society. That doesn't sit well with me. I doubt it ever will.



Which brings me to the question I've wondering about for some days now. What could Bev have done differently to make me like her ? There isn't much she can do with the memory-thing even if she wanted to. I think I blame her for all that simply because the monks (who caused all this) aren't around to take blame, or be kicked. Those idiot monks were so hellbent on keeping the Key around that they created more people out of thin air and violated even MORE people to make all those guardians fit in. That entire attitude annoys the hell out of me. The. Key. Should. Have. Been. Destroyed. I like that this story is going more into detail on how a created person would feel, even though I would feel mighty violated if memories were implanted in me.



Very good-hearted of Tara to embrace Bev like that. I'm not so sure I would have done the same. I don't know what Bev can do more to make me like her, I really don't... it's just that don't feel too much empathy for her at this time (which is kinda irksome of it's own). Probably why this quote attracted my attention early on:

Quote:

---

"Whoever listens and cares enough to come through for me," Beverly replied without hesitation or self-consciousness.

---

Who would, indeed.



This story beats Psych 101 for thinking easily I like stories that make me think though so that's all good.



P.S. I did miss Willow reassuring Tara when she so clearly was (getting) upset. I kept expecting Willow to move closer to support her.



Grimmy

--
"You hurt Tara," Willow said too calmly. "The last one who tried that was a god. I made her regret it." -- Unexpected Consequences by Lisa of Nine

Edited by: Grimlock72 at: 7/14/03 12:53 pm

[TromDeGrey]

YESSSSSSSS!!! I've finally caught up! Happy Dance with me!!! And WOW what a ride!! There are so many great stories within this whole tale. I'm writing a Tara family oriented story myself at the moment and love your take on the Maclay clan. My Maclay's are radically different, but your story has been great for me to compare and contrast your family and mine. Just an awesome story and I can't wait for more!!

My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint. -Erma Bombeck

[TemperedCynic]

I like what you've done here with Bev and her memories. Unlike Dawn, Bev is a full adult with a job and a loving relationship. Yet without her memories, she would go insane. Not knowing Julia in the first-person sense is heartbreaking. But not knowing your lady love Tanya must have been even more devastating. Reminds me of the replicants in "Bladerunner" and author Philip K. Dick's ideas about personal and human identity. Sean Young's character was Rachel, a highly advanced replicant from the Nexus 6 prototype line. She had her memories copied from her creator's niece. But she was self aware, and when she discovered her true nature, she was utterly bereft. No real sense of self, no past, and therefore, seemingly, no future. In all thre of these instances, the theme is apparent: it isn't where you came from that makes you human. It's who you are and how you conduct yourself that makes you human.



Two tweedy British guys. Together. A scary visual place, Mary. Yet tasteful, I agree...

---

More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The other, to total extinction. Let us pray we have the wisdom to choose correctly. Woody Allen (1935 - )

[AntigoneUnbound]

How does one thank a Kitten? Milk, perhaps; or a scratch behind the ears? Just let me know, and I’ll see what I can do.



Rose: Yeah, Tanya pretty much rocks. Part of my decision in this incident was based on who I envision her to be, and another part is very pragmatic: I knew that she would stay with Beverly, and since she isn’t a main character here, I didn’t want to devote too much exposition time to her thought process (particularly since she isn’t here to speak for herself). You know, I think Tara is learning to anchor herself in what she knows in her heart to be true, even if the specific form of her external reality isn’t exactly what she’d like it to be. Thanks for reading, Rose—and kudos again for the yellow jersey victory!



Catie: (Is it OK to use your name?) I really like your comment about Beverly’s passion. I see her as realizing that she cannot take anything for granted in her life, including the continuation thereof. You also ask a great rhetorical question about Tara: how much more can she take? I’m trying to ensure that with every revelation, every upheaval, comes a knowledge or a gained strength. Pain for pain’s sake isn’t so much my thing, you know? And yes, as you point out, Willow is there for her so completely, and with that knowledge, she can face anything. Thanks for the kind words, Catie!



Justin: Glad to hear you like where this is going! I like your question: what happens to Bev if/when Glory is vanquished—assuming she survives, of course. Yeah, I think everyone needed Beverly to come clean (which is always better than coming dirty, don’t you think?) so it felt good to provide some illumination on her. Thanks, Justin.



Russ: You sum up the whole "manufactured identity" conundrum quite well: on the one hand, the person isn’t real as we commonly define the term; on the other, the person absolutely remembers her past, feels joy and pain, has hopes and dreams for the future. As Tara herself asked Dawn earlier, what makes a person human, real? Tara has a harder time w/ this disclosure b/c of its implications for her own biological family, but I see her as being well up to the task of expanding her heart and her mind for Beverly. Thanks for the good thoughts, Russ, and I hope your trip is a good one.



Dark Magic Willow: "So the Orb of Dagon is a lump of smelly magical cheese?" Yes, DMW, that’s it exactly! Once I started reading Ruth’s cheese-based speculations, an entirely new world of possibilities opened up to me!



I really agree w/ you about the problems faced by canon’s introduction of Dawn as the Key. As you noted, existing characters would have made the revelation—the entire story—more cogent, I believe.



You also make a very good point about the unique problems that this revelation pose for Tara w/ regard to her family; e.g., did the younger sister not know about Julia and Quinn, or did the monks not have access to that truth? Thanks for reading, DMW, and make no mistake: our sense of humor is indeed bizarre, but that just lets us enjoy the sublime ridiculousness of the human experience even more…or so I tell myself.



Darkest Willow: My take on Bev’s genesis template is that the monks did indeed create her totally from scratch (don’t you just hate those people-in-a-box mixes?) but that she shared certain features w/ her (ostensible) family b/c she was literally hard-wired to do so; that is, from the moment of her creation, she "knew" who she was related to and thus acted somewhat like them—as many of us do. And now, I ask you, has there ever been a longer sentence in the history of the English language than the preceding one? I suspect not. I also totally get your point about Bev’s possessiveness re: her memories: no one has the right to take what feels so utterly her own. Thanks for the great feedback, Kat!



Grimaldi: Glad you enjoyed the conversation. I like writing dialogue, so it’s nice to know it comes out in a workable form. Thanks!



Puff: Oh God, I’m so psyched that you enjoyed the "persuasive" line. Reminded me of myself on so many occasions, when I’d be trying to argue cogently and knowing, in the back of my mind, that I was just wasting the oxygen. And yes, you’re absolutely right about the sanctity of one’s own memories, particularly when the person is fully aware that she may not have the opportunity to create many more new ones. Thanks for reading, oh most delightfully wimpled one!



Chilled Monkey: So you’d like to meet Tanya, eh? Lemme see what I can do about that…Thanks for the kind words, CM.



Grimlock: OK, Grimmy, you’ve convinced me: Beverly is nothing but a total wench-ola, and as such she will be tossed under the first subway train I can find…



I think what stands out to me is that you and I have different definitions of reality: mine is more subjective, yours more objective. Beverly believes she has spent literally decades building the life she has, and that makes her real to me. What was Beverly to do upon learning the truth—remove herself from existence, including a partner who loves her fiercely? As you commented, you would feel violated if memories were implanted in you: so does Beverly, but she sees herself as one person who, through no choice on her own part, has been chosen to fight an unspeakable evil for the good of the world. The way I see her, she’s doing the best she can under unimaginable circumstances.



I’ll keep a lookout for that train, though…All joking aside, Grimmy, thanks for reading this as closely as you do, and I’m glad that the thought process is being stimulated! Take care.



Trom de Grey: Hey, thanks for investing the time to check this out! I’ll be interested to see what your Maclays look like—when might we see this clan? (Hint, hint…)



Tempered Cynic: Oh God, your comparison to "Bladerunner" is so apt...I remember watching that movie and having my emotions whip-saw from suspicion and emotional distancing to such compassion for the person she was...because she was a person, in the ways that are most important to me. That's a fantastic point, TC.



Yes, Beverly does have to hold on fiercely to what she knows about her life, even (or perhaps especially) in the face of data that say it's not true. With every part of her--the adult w/ a partner and a job, as you point out--she remembers the love she felt for Julia; the love she feels for Tanya and Tara and everyone else she considers family. So she conducts herself with as much integrity and courage as is humanly possible--because now, she most certainly is human.



Great points, TC, as always. Thanks for the thought you give this story.



OK, that’s all for now.

Thanks,

Mary

Edited by: AntigoneUnbound at: 7/14/03 7:20 pm

[Washi]

Mary, just dropping in a line from Tunis. I read both updates and they rocked! I'll be waitring for more!

-------------------



"See? I've mastered this tact crap." Anya in Tears Of The Goddess by Lisa

[JustSkipIt]

Mary,



Absolutely brilliant (hmmm, do I over use that word or at least overuse it here? I’m starting to wonder). I love love love this update. I actually read it early yesterday but didn’t have time to post a comment until now. Sorry about the delay.



I love the intensity of emotion from everyone here. Particularly Tara. It is absolutely smashing for her to have gone through so much with her family in what really is the last few weeks or less and now the one person she could count on, the one person who loves her so much that she flies from Dallas (which means she had to navigate Dallas traffic to get to the airport and I don’t envy anyone that chore), isn’t real. And then Aunt Bev’s breakdown at the end. A wonderful parallel and reminder of Dawn’s breakdown. Actually they are in the same place with the exception that Bev knows more about the situation than Dawn does. But both (like Tara) have just had their own realities completely wrecked to pieces. They don’t know who or what they really are. At the end when Tara wraps her aunt in her arms, it is so perfect.



Not wanting to abuse the power to quote and copy pages, I’ll stick to one:

Quote:

---

"That’s what I mean," Beverly nodded. "It seems so random, so statistically unlikely, and yet we all end up where we’re supposed to be, or at least that’s what I believe. I think I’m supposed to be here, and you two are supposed to be here, and be together, and Tara, I think I’m supposed to be your aunt. As far as I’m concerned, I am your aunt."

---

And that’s what everything in the world is about isn’t it? We are all where we are supposed to be. That’s exactly what I was thinking all along. It never occurred to me that Bev came because of the key or Glory; I just thought that she came for Tara and of course she needed to be there. That’s the importance of fate in our lives.



At the same time, I’m angered by the arrogance of the Monks. Let’s not even touch on the severly dead-horse-beaten subject of why make the key human at all? And I’m not sure whether to touch on their apparent predilection for making human forms lesbian (or at least bi-sexual) (exhibit 1: Dawn, exhibit 2: Aunt Bev). Does this mean we need to worry about all the kittens and Melissa Etheridge, Ellen Degeneres, and Chasity Bono? Are the warty leprosy hobbits after all of them (us)?



Back to the arrogance of the monks… They have absolute belief apparently that they can muck around in the lives of so many people. I’ve mentioned before that the insertion of Dawn into this universe would by definition displace other people and events. There is a kid who came in 3rd rather than 2nd in the spelling bee and the boy she dates in 11th grade maybe. And a million other things that change and maybe something in that chain of events would have created world peace or even just made a happy family. And they give Bev to Tanya or vice versa right? No one hurt; everyone happy and commitment ceremony planning right? Ok, except that wasn’t Tanya really alone for 4.75 years of that 5 years together? Is Bev her soul mate and she was tragically waiting for her to be created? Or is Bev not really the one she should be with but 3 days after Bev was created Tanya saw a woman at a coffee shop. She had a glimmer in her eye and Tanya smiled but of course she’s happily in love with Bev for over 4 years now right? Only maybe that woman is her soulmate and they were supposed to fall magically in love and have kids and one of those kids would cure cancer or cut the processing time for cheese in half or something. Ok, I’ve rambled but my point is that every thing we EVER do EVER impacts every other person in this reality forever. For the monks to believe that they can insert all these human forms into our world and not mess something up royally is absolute arrogance and carelessness (ok, somehow it bothered me less when it was just Dawn).



Speaking of Tanya & Bev’s commitment ceremony? I don’t suppose that was the busy celebration you are working on that kept you from Paths comments for 2 updates?????? Tee hee, nosy Debra

---

"Seek the company of those who are still seeking the truth and run away from those who think they have found it.--J.T. O'Hara