In Remembrance of Tara Maclay, 1980-2002

[BBOvenGuy]

One more musical offering from me. I'm kicking myself for not remembering it last night.

This is Bobby McFerrin's setting of the 23rd Psalm. (Yes, I really have sung this in my church. Several times.)

[i:4ac48fc591] The Lord is my Shepherd, I have all I need,
She makes me lie down in green meadows,
Beside the still waters, She will lead.

She restores my soul, She rights my wrongs,
She leads me in a path of good things,
And fills my heart with songs.

Even though I walk through a dark and dreary land,
There is nothing that can shake me,
She has said She won't forsake me,
I'm in her hand.

She sets a table before me, in the presence of my foes,
She annoints my head with oil,
And my cup overflows.

Surely, surely goodness and kindness will follow me,
All the days of my life,
And I will live in her house,
forever and ever.

Glory be to our Mother, and Daughter,
And to the Holy of Holies
As it was in the beginning, is now and ever shall be,
World without end. Amen.[/i:4ac48fc591]

And you'll find the recording here:

www.eriscorp.com/canterbu...salm23.mp3

[VampNo12]

Tara was a true shining light, when depression was overwhelming she was the true source that hope is still possible to achieve. She always put others before herself, always had a shoulder avaliable to lean on/confide in, an amazing woman who found the strength and courage to rise above her "abusive" family life to grow into this beatiful soul, and the other half of Willow Rosenberg's heart.

I will miss how she can make me feel as well as Willow feel happy without a single word, but rather with a mere facial expression (such as her wonderful smile). She was the type of person who had all the excuses in the world to be bitter, but Tara instead only focused on the positive and made sure others around her saw the same. She will be dearly missed on the show, but here at the board as well as in my memory Tara will always live on.

[Fuzz WT]

Tara....

Listen to the wind blow.
Another soul is leaving.
Guess,above has another plan for you.
So you are leaving.

But you are here forever,
For your name,our heart is singing.
Your kindness,love,in path of our life.
All the things you taught are with us...
along our walking.

.........
God,Tara...I have no more beautiful written things to say,for you love IS the most well written thing I've ever touched.Tara,When you watch us from above.you'll know how your kindness touched us and live with us in things we do.

I'll remember the first of you
I'll remember the last of you.

I'm crying
We're crying
All the flowers are crying forever.

You're tender soul.Keep tender and stronger when you're far away.But you know you'll have your Willowtree forever in your heart.So when you're tried,rest beneath the gentle warm love wings.

We'll miss you.

Goodbye.Sleep well.

*Fuzz*

PS.I'll die,if I ever saw Willow crying over this funeral.

[Vampire Willow]

Tara, you were an example of what pure beauty and selfless-ness is. We will love for ALL eternity. You will never be truly dead because you will always be in our hearts. Here are some poems I wrote in your memory.

Bliss
~~~~

Caressed by sunset
The last moments of light reflected off her copper hair
Holding her red-headed lover close
Tight in an embrace
"It should always be this way," Tara murmured
The two just sat
Watching the sun sink behind the hills

Wrapped in red cloth
Swirling in obscure patterns
She ran a hand through Willow's hair
Relishing the moment
Sharing a kiss
Skin on skin once again

For a moment all was forgotten
Willow's harsh words
And both of their rash decisions
All lost in the heat of the moment
"Can you just be kissing me now?"
Music to the redhead's ears
Almost like there was magick flowing in her veins again

No longer separated
Not my magick
Or by human means
Only love and true bliss existed in that room
Willow lay in Tara's gentle arms
Skin on skin
Body on beautiful body

In the lighting she looked like even more of a goddess that usual
The one she was meant for
Never again parted
Their souls kindred
And interlocked
In love for all eternity


************

Everything, Forever
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Witches
Worlocks
The devil himself
All this "evil"
Summed up in a symbol
A circle
A star

The evil we've know has taken on new form
That which we have grown to love
And care for

Our Willow
The whiz
"If ever a Whiz there was"
Now torn between two worlds
One of pure hatred and vengeance
The other of love and ecstasy
But now that her love has gone
Who will she share that love with?

Tara
May her soul rest in peace
She was killed
Shot down
Never to rise again
No more triangle pancakes for Dawn
Or kisses for her redheaded lover
" I am you knowyours"
With those words they knew they were meant for each other

The two Wiccans
Possibly the best couple ever to live
Soul-mates
Until the end of time
Even if the future seems bleak
And the end is near
Dead or alive they will be there for each other
Good or evil
Their love is eternal

Never alone
If you don't forget
And with our girls
That is not a problem
They will be together for all of time
Weather they are fighting
Or in an argument
They can never stay mad
We've seen that to be true

Will they stay broken?
Can Willow heal herself?
Tara was her everything
And will never be anything else

*************

A World At Its End
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Taken from us
Torn from our arms
Never again to see the light of day
She was our everything
Now she isgone

The only word for her
Gone
Not dead
Or deceased
Or lost
Or resting in peace
She was pulled away from us
Not of her will

No one will help
Not even Osirus
Now the red has turned black
Bullets in slow motion
Mouths sewn shut
Insides turned out
The world at its end
Again

The evil has all but vanished
A human adversary
He can die
And he will

Nothing can change the past
But maybe she can change the future
She'll give him what he deserves
He took her light away
From her
From me
From the world

What will we do without her?
Maybe we'll perish
Maybe we'll survive
But one thing's for sure
We can never be complete
We can never be the same
Ever again

Dedicated to Willow and Tara

Willow: NEVER GIVE UP!
Tara: I hope that you're in a better place now.

***************

Tribute
~~~~~

Left alone
In a dark room
For hours
We can't say goodbye
Can't pay our last respects
Carried away in a body bag

Is there a way to heal?
Everyone is affected in some way
Maybe you had a class with her
Passed her in the hall
Shared a coy smile
Helped her pick up her fallen books
Asked her for directions

You never knew the power she held
Until you got to know her
Not many did
She could be the most beautiful woman
If she wanted
But she was meant for one
The one with the innocent face
With the magicks
With the red hair
The one who got hit hardest

Almost stopped the world from turning
Saved by the least likely person
Love conquers all
And now we are safe again
We can blame no one
She got caught up in grief

It is a time for recovery
We can bounce back
Tara is with us always
At school
On the bus
In the car
Sitting at our computers right now
In our dreams
Wherever we go she will be there
To guide us
To tell us
"It doesn't all have to be good and fine
This where you don't have to be brave
I still love you
If you're worried, you can be worried"

And we will go on loving her

************
These were just some of the poems I wrote. You can see the rest in the "Poetry by BloodysGirl" thread in Different Colored Pens. We will never forget you Tara. When we looked in your eyes you could see all the beauty of the world reflected back at you. Your smile could light up the room. You could seperate the Red Sea. Part a crowd. But you could always do one thing...seduce us. We love you Tara. You will be the most beautiful angel in the Heavens.
~Willow

PS: + =

[alyamber4ever]

Tara:
You're beautiful and I love you so much. I'll never forget the warmth of your smile and the sparkle in your eyes. You're gorgeous and always will be. You brightened our lives with your presence. Words just aren't enough to express how much you mean to us and how much we'll miss you. We love you, Tara. Forever and always.

& 4ever

[miss calendar]

Tara I miss you so much already, I know I'll miss you more and more with passing time. You had such integrity, such courage, so much compassion. Seeing you overcome your initial shyness and the lack of self esteem that was the legacy of a family that demonised you and then seeing you grow into a confident, strong and sexy woman has been an inspiration and delight.

I loved your quirky intelligence and playful humour, your occasional raunchiness, your sensitivity and kindness. I was touched by the generosity of your spirit, moved by your ability to keep on loving however badly others might treat you. I loved the fact that you followed the path of your heart with such directness and passion. I loved how you were able to love Willow wholeheartedly and without reservation, taking equal and obvious delight in the meetings of mind, body and spirit. Watching the love between you, what heart could not be surprised by joy again and again. You will be remembered with much love by all those who's lives you touched.


May all blessings be yours.





Some final thoughts....

Thanks to Web Warlock for suggesting this memorial and everyone who has posted such moving messages.

Thank you for the beautiful wiccan ritual, Lisa of Nine.
The incense I lit when I read it is still burning as is the jewish memorial light I lit for Tara.

BB Oven Guy and Hemiola I like your choices from the Faure Requiem and tyche's suggestion of the Adagio for Strings by Barber. I'm so NOT the netgirl so can't post links to sounds but would like to add a couple more suggestions.

1. Dido's Lament from Dido and Aeneas by Henry Purcell which has been running through my mind ever since I saw Tara get shot.

2. Largo (the second movement) from the J.S.Bach Concerto for Two Violins in D minor. This is not a piece of music I associate with mourning but something about the way the two individual voices of the violins interact with each other now separate, now intertwining in music I personally find very uplifting reminds me of Willow and Tara's relationship.

[Kalita]

I am loath to say goodbye to a person who lives on so brightly, in all of us. Tara can never be truly gone, for so many of us loved her so very much.

She will live on in the visage of her portrayor, the wondrous Amber Benson, to whom we are forever grateful. She will live on in the stories and poems and songs we have created about her, and shared amongst ourselves. She will live on in the images we carry of her, the fond memories of a life greatly lived.

So long, dear Tara, but never farewell.

[tommo]

I'm sorry I can't say goodbye to Tara. I've gladly said goodbye to this show; and the burdens it has placed on the shoulders of lesbians who believed.

But Tara isn't gone. Not for me.

I appreciate all you're saying here; but I simply cannot join you; I'm sorry. She will live on in fic; she will live on in the hearts of Willow/Tara shippers.

[Taz]

Tara-

I have been touched by the words that love struck lovers say
and I have been touched by the morning rain called dew
I have been touched by the sun kissing the day anew
but the world seems so much brighter now that I've been touched by you.

Gone but, never forgotten.

A heartfelt thanks to Amber Benson for creating Tara with such magic and love.

[Sheridan]

I understand [b:ed10b09f83] Tommo[/b:ed10b09f83] but today we mourn, tomorrow we move on and claim her back.

[Kiwiccan]

I am sitting here listening to the rain and cold wind blow in swells around my house. Eerie sounds emanate from the rafters and play havoc with my tired saddened mind.

I am conveyed back in time, just a few short years ago, to a place known as Sunnydale. It was here that my eyes beheld the beauty of a shy Wiccan woman. There was something in her eyes that struck me, as I was transported in mind into a state of whimsical fantasy. This fantasy nestled me into a mountain setting complete with a moss ladened meditation rock. Here is where I discovered her, sitting cross legged, a peaceful inner knowing smile gently caressing her lips. Little did I know, way back then, that I would fall in love with the beautiful wiccan, I would come to know as Tara Maclay. Her shyness soon blossomed into a more self assured woman. Her untapped inner strength grew beyond her own wildest dreams. Later, she claimed it was because of another, but I knew it was always there just waiting to be claimed.

She lost her life in a senseless act of poor story telling. This senselessness will never be forgiven.

Tara shall remain, as she has since I was first introduced to her, in my heart, mind and soul.

[areslei]

Willow and Tara Forever

I drove home today and witnessed a part in the clouds. From it shone bright rays of sunshine onto the earth. I thought "Today an angel is holding the hand of God". A soul from a woman with extreme serenity, purity, and inspiration is encircling the earth and all it's life. With every human death, there is a child born, somewhere. That child is looking up at the world around it with deep blue eyes and complete curiosity and amazement. Or perhaps it is you, Tara, that we hear in the wind and the rivers, your spirit not confined to any fixed being....set to roam free. Set free until it is time for you to physically come back into our lives. Spiritually, emotionally, and mentally, you are always with us. You are still alive in all of us.

[WebWarlock]

I wish I could scream to the heavens and get you back.
I wish I could make those responsible see how wrong they are.
I wish I could somehow make sense of any of this.
But I have no power, no influence, no magic, so I can't.

None of this makes any sense.
I still really can't believe that Tara is gone from us. Often times I expect to hear that it was all some horrible mistake or awful joke. If it were a joke, I would laugh. Laugh because it would mean this terrible loss would be over.
But the joke, apparently, is on me.

Nothing can justify this terrible thing, especially to one as sweet, loving and as special as Tara. A quieter soul I have never known. Quiet, but with grace and an inner strength, strength enough to be hurt to help the ones she loved the most.

We were never allowed to learn much about you. But what we did know caused us all to love you more.

You were a friend to all, confidant to Buffy, mother to Dawn, and to Willow you were...everything.

Tara Maclay, it was an honor, privilege, and an extreme pleasure to have known you. My life is richer because I have known you, and through you, I have met the Kittens gathered here.

The memory of your life and your love will live within all of us, and thus you have cheated death his grandest prize. You.

Tara Maclay, long may you live and soon may you be reunited with Willow, your love and light of your life. May you both live and love together ever more.

[i:a2fcecd0d7] Slan g foill Tara. Slan leath.[/i:a2fcecd0d7]

-------------------------------
Part 2. I Burried Tara this week.

Stepping out from the "character" here.

My wife and I "cleaned house" this week. We gathered up all of the things we got when she was pregnant this time last year and put them in a box and set them in the garage. I will be giving them to chairity on Tuesday. I had a ton of baby formula. Some of you might know, once you get pregnant the vultures swoop in. We were getting free formula (which we never used anyway) and all sorts of other stuff. I packaged all that up as well. It was the just add water stuff, so it keeps a while.

I burned my favorite Willow & Tara pics and mpegs on to a few CDs. Kept the mpgs of Season 6 I liked, trashed the rest. I am in the process of cleaning out my "Buffy" section on my computer.
And finally, I removed the programing from my VCR to tape Buffy and Angel each week.

Yes. Tara is dead. But Tara is alive and well in the Pens, and in fics all over the net, and in my Buffy-based RPG.

Today, and maybe the rest of this weekend I will mourn. But a new day is coming. I realised something.
[b:a2fcecd0d7] ME can NO LONGER HURT HER! [/b:a2fcecd0d7]
Tara is only dead to them! Not us!
To (semi-)quote Sassette, "Tara is not dead, she just has better writters now!" She has ascended. She is in our more than capable and loving hands now. And WE will do her justice!

Thank you everyone for coming to this.
I would like this thread to reamin open for a bit, some are not ready to mourn yet, if ever. But I needed too. I got the feeling that others did as well. I am glad I did this.

Now I can move on and fully accept a world where Tara and Willow will be together forever more. Will it be difficult for them? Yes, even true love is not without problems. But it will be love, Truly and Forever.

Warlock

[Arwen]

This was beautiful, eloquent, and heart wrenching all at once. Web Warlock, thank you so much for doing this, I think so many needed it. However, as you said above, I am not yet ready to mourn. Denial is no good, and holding on to pain even worse, but I find myself at a loss....

Today I listened to the OMWF songs, smiling as I thought of what a wonderful ep. that was. Once 'Under Your Spell' came on though, I was a wreck. After the first beautiful word left Tara's mouth I started crying, and realized that I don't really believe. It is so painful listening to that song, to hear her sweet, angelic voice.

I will love Tara always, but I do not know how to mourn.

Tara, Blessed be! You are my faery light.


Arwen

[La]

[i:74a32a619d] For everything there is a season,
and a time for every matter under heaven:
a time to be born, and a time to die;
a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;
a time to kill, and a time to heal;
a time to break down, and a time to build up;
a time to weep, and a time to laugh;
a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
a time to throw away stones, and a time to gather stones together;
a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
a time to seek, and a time to lose;
a time to keep, and a time to throw away;
a time to tear, and a time to sew;
a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
a time to love, and a time to hate;
a time for war, and a time for peace.[/i:74a32a619d]
~Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

[Bagheera]

Wonderful thoughts from everyone, well done, esp. WebWarlock.

Tara is ours now.

[tommo]

La, I read that at my grandmother's funeral. It's a lovely piece.

[UnrealisticExpectations]

Okay, every time I hear this song I get all teary. It makes me think of how Willow must be feeling. (I altered the lyrics slightly where the hair color and eyes are concerned)


I Miss My Friend
by Darryl Worley

I miss the look,
Of surrender in your eyes.
The way your soft blonde hair falls.
I miss the power,
Of your kiss when we made love.
Oh but baby, most of all...
I miss my friend.

The one my heart and soul
Confided in,
The one I felt the safest with,
The one who knew just what to say...
To make me laugh again,
And let the light back in....
I miss my friend...

I miss the colors,
That you brought into my life.
Your golden smile...
Those blue eyes.
And I miss your gentle voice,
In lonely times like now.
Sayin' "It'll be alright."
I miss my friend.

The one my heart and soul,
Confided in.
The one I felt the safest with,
The one who knew just what to say...
To make me laugh again,
And let the light back in....
I miss my friend...

I miss those times,
I miss those nights.
I even miss our silly fights.
The makin' up, the morning talks.
And those late afternoon walks,
I miss my friend.

The one my heart and soul
Confided in,
The one I felt the safest with,
The one who knew just what to say...
To make me laugh again,
And let the light back in....
I miss my friend...

[ninjitsugrrl]

This has been a beautiful ceremony. I know I'm late but I wanted to offer a song which I thought fit. It is "She's The One" by Robbie Williams.


I was her she was me
We were one we were free
And if there's somebody calling me on
She's the one
If there's somebody calling me on
She's the one

We were young we were wrong
We were fine all along
If there's somebody calling me on
She's the one
When you get to where you wanna go
And you know the things you wanna know
You're smiling
When you said what you wanna say
And you know the way you wanna play
You'll be so high you'll be flying

Though the sea will be strong
I know we'll carry on
Cos if there's somebody calling me on
She's the one
If there's somebody calling me on
She's the one

When you get to where you wanna go
And you know the things you wanna know
You're smiling

When you said what you wanna say
And you know the way you wanna say it
You'll be so high you'll be flying

I was her she was me
We were one we were free
If there's somebody calling me on
She's the one
If there's somebody calling me on
She's the one

If there's somebody calling me on
She's the one
Yeah she's the one

If there's somebody calling me on
She's the one
She's the one

If there's somebody calling me on
She's the one

[emma peel]

I am late as well.

Thank you WebWarlock for this touching and so very beautiful memorial.

Tara, you will never know how much you have helped me cope with and overcome certain issues I have been battling.

I love you, I miss you, and you will always be with me.

Janice

[WebWarlock]

I really want to thank everyone who stopped by.

This has been a huge help for me.

I didn't even realise that this was Memorial Day weekend here in the states. Kinda ironic huh.

So feel free to post all weekend long.

Warlock

[gentleman spike]

This has probably been said before, but she was the strongest Scooby this season.

Her life was beautiful, but brief. Her death, accidental and unnecessary. The memories we have of her...never to fade.


Also, it goes to show what an amazing, fascinating actress Amber is...for so many people to use their creative energies to create the above memorials and poems.

You all have done a great job.

[Gatito Grande]

I dreamed I saw Tara last night,
Alive as you or me.
"Tara" I said "Joss says you're dead"
"I never died" said she.
"I never died" said she.

[i:26d60767f4] with apologies to Joe Hill[/i:26d60767f4]

As Tara has died, she is reborn in our hearts: the hearts of the Kittens and all who loved her. But she will not stay there---oh no. Every heart of every Kitten is not enough to contain her. As Tara was Love Itself, she will flow from one heart to the next, and so on . . . Till every heart and head that ever heard the name of "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" will know that Tara hasn't died, and can never die.

Every heart and every head . . . it's just a matter of time.

!Tara Maclay Presente!

[i:26d60767f4] With Hope and Strength to all Kittens, Gatito Grande[/i:26d60767f4]

[Lonewolf22]

I posted already and I really hope that WebWorlock doesn't mind but I would also like to add a song to this thread, I feel it is appropriate. It's "I Will Love You" by Fisher.

I Will Love You

'Til my body is dust
'til my soul is no more
I will love you, love you

'Til the sun starts to cry
and the moon turns to rust
I will love you, love you

But I need to know - will you stay for all
time...forever and a day
Then I'll give my heart 'til the end of all
time...forever and a day

And I need to know - will you stay for all
time...forever and a day
Then I'll give my heart 'til the end of all
time...forever and a day

'Til the storms fill my eyes
and we touch the last time
I will love you, love you...


Lonewolf

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

[slayer747]

"... Doom takes to part us Leaves thine heart in
mine with pulses that beat double
what i do and what i dream include thee
as the wine must taste of its own grapes
and when i curse God for myself
He hears that name of thine
and sees within my eyes
the tears of two"

(i think this is E. Browning's... but it feels like it came from my heart.)